Welcome 2k13!

OH hiii!!

Finally! The Page 366 of 366, it’s time to finally say goodbye to the year 2012.

Today, was really great. I made California makis. YEEEEEY! And I went out to cut my hair, and watched a movie with a friend. It was fun. Really. I had a great day. It’s almost midnight here. And I can hear fireworks booming already. So here’s a shoutout to all of you.

Happy Happy New Year to Everyone!

Let’s welcome the year 2013 with open arms of happiness and joy! Yeay!

God bless us all!!! 

Welcome 2013!

@MissMarjj

Page 360 of 366

It’s Christmas day!

MERRY CHRISTMAS LOVES!!!

Six days before we completely leave 2012 and step in to the New Year 2013. I just want to say thanks for a wonderful year that you have given me, 2012. And I just hope and pray that year 2013 will be better! I am looking forward to more and more happiness and love love love.

Soooo, I’m formulating my NEW YEAR CHANGES, Or New year’s resolution.

Let me just have a recap of my resolution this year, and see if there are really changes. =)

1.       BE HEALTHY – No frienchfries, sleep early. Less soft drinks, less sweets, start swimming again.

- OKAY, For the Frenchfries – CHECK!  I stopped eating fries this year. And I can just count the fries that I ate with my fingers and toes. YEAHOOOO!

-  SLEEP EARLY – NOPE! Total FAIL. HAHA. Still got huge bags under my eyes.

-  Less soft drinks – CHECK! Really really was a success! As in, I was really shocked that I avoided soft drinks the entire year. And If ever I drank soft drinks, it’s when the situation call for it. Or if wala na talagang choice. Ayon. Promise. I am so happy that I fulfilled this change this year.

-  Less sweets – soft drinks are sweet, so yeah, sweets naglessen nga. But, im not  really sure if it did, kase, I really love chocolates e. But I know this year, I controlled myself toward these tempting goodies. I just wish I ca measure all the sweet foods that I ate this year.

-  Swimming – SUPER CHECK! As in, this year, I got my first gold medal at swimming. Wala lang. I started swimming again this year. YAY ME!

HEALTHY LIVING? – ALRIGHT! CHECK, CHECK, AND CHECK!

2.       Study HARDER – Uhmmmm.. Do assignments, projects, and do advance readings.

-  Do assignment – UHM. I don’t know. I guess soo.. HAHA.  I do my assignments naman e.

-  Do projects – I do my projects to.

-  Advance readings – NOOOOO. NO NO NO =))

STUDY HARDER?  --- Im not that sure. But hey, I’m still an accountancy student. I guess it worked. :D

3.       GOD 

–               - Be right back on track with God.

- I stayed with God the entire year. He knows everything naman e. :D

-  I love You, God, and I hope and pray that You help me prove it to you every single day.

SO GOD- CHECK! CHECK! CHECK! =)

4.       BE HAPPY, BE INLOVE.

-  I don’t know. HAPPY, YES, I was very much happy the entire year. INLOVE. Ahhh. I don’t know. I guess only God knows when that will happen. I trust in him, He know every single detail about my life. And I just have to trust him. I know He’s got a perfect timing! =))

Over all, this year’s resolution was pretty much fulfilled. I’m so happy that it turned out okay. And not ako DRAWING sa mga yon. Mostly kase, di nafufulfill. Till the first few months lang. and then, everything is forgotten na. Im happy that I wasn’t merely written in my blog but it was also fulfilled during the year. OOOH Yeah!

I gotta go na! Muslim wedding at GOH. Ehe, this is my first time to attend one. Really excited.

Will continue this later!

@MissMarjj

Ciao! 

With Love and Thanksgiving

                Oh hi, it’s me again. It’s Christmas Eve here. Ahh..  Time really flies when you’re enjoying. It’s Christmas once again. I can’t believe it. It’s like I just did my “Day to day blog 5” the other month and now I’m doing my “year-end blog thank you part” already! Ang bilis! Well, this blog is all about the THANKSGIVING part. J Thanks to all those people who were with me and helped me in my laughter and tears this year. Well, here’s a shout out for all of you!

THANK YOU!!!

To my family, Mama, papa, Joyce, ako-neng, Tito Junie, Joshua, to my ever loving Lola ester, to my tita langga and tita bhing, to diko-Lillaine, Tito Jerome, and Tito Jerry and his family, to everyone in the family, THANK YOU! Thanks for showing your love and concern to me. And to my Papa, and Mama, and Ako-neng, Thank you for everything, thank you for the loooong sermons you give me everytime I do something bad. I learned a lot. And because of that, I became a better person. Words can’t barely explain how I feel. Pero Thank you talaga! To my sister, Joyce, hay nako, SPEECHLESS! HAHA! Kidding, thanks nalang din kay palagi mo akong inaaway. HAHA!!! Okay, bye. To everyone, I might not tell this on a daily basis, but I love you guys so so much!!! I’m just not that showy sa feelings ko towards my family. HAHA!

To my second family, Tita Sharon, Tito William, Wilbur, Chrisha, Shan-Shan, & Shoti thanks for everything. Tita sha, you know how much ako thankful for having you as my mom in law. HAHAHAHAHA! Pero joke lang. Thanks tita, thanks for being good mother to all of us. To tito William, uhmmmmm… Thank you po. Hehe, For treating me as your anak na din. As in, I’m very touched talaga sainyo ni tita. And I love you both po. To Wilbur, HAY NAKO. Ok. Alam mo nay an. I don’t need to say it here. You know naman na lahat ng gusto kong sabhin sayo, mind reader ka e! ;) HAHA! K. I just want to really thank you for being there for me. Although you once failed, that doesn’t mean that you will keep on doing that. You’re a really smart guy, and you know that. I hope na this relationship we have will never ever change. Yun lang. I really really love all of you.

To my dearest churchmates, my brothers and sisters in Christ, I would like to really thank you for always being there for me. To Pastor Lorraine Rojas Anito, who’s been really patient with me, THANKYOU! Pas, thank you for always lending your ear to me when I need someone to listen, thank you for you advices, and all! Alam mo naman yan pas, I don’t need to make drama pa here and thank you din for always encouraging me when I am down, and correcting me on my mistakes thank you! To Jane, Thank you sa lahat. I really saw the changes in you. As in, WOW. Nagmature ka tlga. Naks, And because of that I respect you bigtime, kahit na palagi mo akong tinetenta. Thanks parin. TO EVERYBODY IN THE CHURCH, lalo na the young people, thanks for inspiring me. Thank you din for helping me in my spiritual life. Thanks!

To my CLASSMATES! BSaC-E!!! Thank you classmates for helping me ha! Thanks for being there pag kailangan ko ng help sa mga assignments and quizzes. THANKS! To CHERIE, na never nagsasawang magGM sa buong class. I know na sometimes it’s hard na, kase pasan mo ang lahat ng announcements sa lahat ng classe, buti nalang ndi sila nagsasabay. THANKS HA! J To my ever loyal tutor, MARKO! HAHAHA! Oy markiii, Thanks sa tyaga mo sa pagturo saakin sa accounting ha! As in, ver much appreciated yan ditto sa aking puso. As in! To Vivien “HIVivi, VEV” THANK YOU HA, for making me laugh all throughout the year, alam mo nmn na Love na love kita! ;) Char! To MITZIBELS, Thanks tlaga for beng a good and caring friend to me! Alam mo naman yan, THANK YOU! Love you!!! And to everyone na in the class, I won’t not mention all you na kase, di ko alam ang spelling ng name neo. Huh? HAHA! Joke lang. Basta, Thanks for the friendship. And YEA, I’m sorry kung KJ ako, at di sumasama sa mga outing, actually, since HS, di talaga ako pala sama sa mga outing, pasensya naaa. And kung di ako parating sumasama sainyo, sorry. Busy kase parati ang lola niyo e! HAHA! Bsta, Thank you guys for all the things we’ve shared the entire year! Next year ulit ha! ;))

To my RAINBOW GIRLS! Ha, Although bago lang tayong lahat nagkakilala , I still thank you for being a friend and sister to me. Super fun to be with talaga kayo, from day one palang, and kahit na super-duper ingay neo sometimes to the point na talbog neo na ang loudness ko, at di na kayo nakikinig sa mga announcements ko, thank you parin. HAHAHA! Kidding aside, I want to really thank you guys for sharing a part of your life to me. Thank you for the friendship na binigay neo saakin. And ofcourse, thank you for all the fun memories that you have given me this year. And just to shoutout the girls who asked me to include them in my blog, here na oh! JOYCE CARPITANOS && MONINA LEDESMA! Oh ayan ha! Nagiging unfair na ako sa iba. J) HAHAHA! Anyways, to all the girls, always remember that I am here for you, if you guys need someone to talk you, all of you naman already have my number and you can call me. Anytime! I’ll listen. I love you girls! Thanks for making my year extra fun! ;)

AND NOW, To my friends!

First stop, ALBERTO TE! Chenen!!! Hi Bert! Hehe, Thank you sa lahat, thank you kase, di mo ako iniiwan kahit my lakad ka pa iba. Niwwait mo tlga until may kasama na ako. Thanks tlaga. As in, THANKS! I really appreciate it! And thanks din for being a good classmate and friend to me. Sana next year ganon parin. ;)

Nestor Lopez-vito – Hi nez, it’s been quite a while since I last talked to you. I would like to say thanks for being a friend to me. Thanks for making me laugh. Thanks for everything this year. I know thing are different now. And sometimes, things are better as it is. We should let the sugat heal first. You mean a lot to me, Nez. And it pains me to see us like this now. But I have to deal with this. Thanks for all the laughter and joy you shared with me this year.

Jeffrey Yu – hoy bebijep! Thank you for everything this year ha… Thanks for being a good friend to me; you’re like a brother to me, and I know that you know that naman! Thank you for all those dinner out and shawarma night we had. As in, trust me, na-appreciate ko talaga na anjan ka always for me. And even though you don’t really tell me that you care, I know, because I feel it. Thanks, JEF.

Sherlie ann Yu – Hey GETCH, =) I know there’d been a lot of changes these days, but I still want to thank you for all the fun memories you gave me and shared with me this year. Heaven knows how much I treasure those memories. Thanks for giving me the chance to get to know you more. Alam mo naman na, is aka sa mga nagging ka close ko this year. And even though it’s very different now, I still want you to know that I’m happy that it all happened, I mean, we could have stayed together much much longer, but I am contented of what we had. Thanks for the friendship!

Jamila Aceberos – Hi, uh.. I still want to thank you for making me happy this school year, particularly during the first semester. It was when I really realized the true meaning of sacrifice in friendship. Thank you for everything.

Yvonne Napao && Ridx Saral – Hey Gf and Ridx, thanks sa lahat this year, ung mga lakad and practices natin. I will surely miss that. Thanks for being a good friend. I know that I am not perfect and I might have said something against you or ano ba, I just want to say sorry for all the misunderstandings and thank you for all the memories. Alam neo naman yan! Love you girls! ;)

Pia Atilano, Kat Mercado and Cidney Enriquez - Thanks girls! You know naman na why. You guys were there when I needed someone to comfort me. And I just want to thank you girls! And always remember na you can't count on me if you need anything.  Love you girls! :) 

Laika Ibrahim – Hey hey hey! LAIKA! This time, I would really want to HUG you. Thanks talaga Laiks, for being such a good and honest friend to me. Alam mo naman ako, tatanga-tanga, thanks for everything that you have done for me. This year lang naman tlaga tayo nagging “close”. Thanks for trusting me, and lending me your ears when I need someone to talk to. I really appreciate it. Alam mo yan. Love na love na love kita. I hope that this friendship would last a lifetime. Mwah! Thanks din pala kay Rajeev. For all the favors na nagawa nea for me, and also for the advices, and also for being a good friend to me. 

Nico To – Hoy Loviee ko, Okay, More than 1 year na tayong friends. Naalala ko ung first conversation natin, “Happy birthday!” hahaha. Okay.. So much for that, thank you for everything. Sa friendship, sa trust, sa memories. And evern for lending me your phone. =)) HAHAHA! Thanks din sa pakikinig nung kailangan ko ng kausap. Kahit  paminsan, ay! Palagi pala. Kahit palaging deloko ang response mo. Okay lang kase napapatawa mo naman ako. Thanks for everything! For the advices and also, ung libre mo nung malapit ka nang umalis. I miss you, lovie ko. HAHA! Uwi naaaa..

Mawi Tulawi – BETCH!!! Thank you so much sa lahat. Alam mo, you mean a lot to me. Thanks for keeping me company and for sharing a lot of things to me. Thank you. J alam mo kung gaano kit aka love. And I’ll always be here for you!!! <3 font="font"> I hope that our friendship would really last a lifetime. Love love love you! 

Gerauld Vallecer – I remember back in highschool, this guy used to be a snob. Super taray talaga. and even in college, grabe, still a snob. Until we finally got a little close, with nico’s help. Nagging ok na kame. And I want to say, thank you for all the advices you gave me. Thanks din for the dance steps you shared to us. I miss you na GE! I hope you come home soon! Love love love you!

Diane Reyes – Hey, SUSHMITA! My ever super daldal girlfriend. Even though we barely know each other, ang gaan na ng loob ko sayo. And the first bonding that we had, was legit! As in, thank you for making me feel comfortable. And thank you for being there for me when I needed a friend. It meant a lot to me. I hope we get closer next year! Love yah! 

To my Brother DeMolays, thank you! Thank you so so much for treating us well since day one. Thanks for being good bros to us.  Ehe, To Raf, Fay, Mitch, Zen, Ron, Jason, Pj, Allan, Benj, Dk, AND RJ, Thanks for helping us sa booth. I can’t mention everybody na, basta alam neo naman who you are. Thanks! Merry Christmas!

Hari Perez – You know I love you my bonjing friend. Thanks for being an awesome fashinista friend. You mean a lot to me. Cute cute ka talaga forever! I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!!!

Jerk Team – Okay,  I never was a part of this group. Kase, not naman tlga ako masyado sumasama sakanila. But thank you guys for keeping me company ha. Thank you for everything. And thank you for being a good friend to me. Jade, Jame, Jnel, Bert, Jink, Kring, Vincent thanks you. :D

Wilbur Yeo – Hey babe, I still want to thank you for making me feel special. And for all the sacrifices you have done for me. Alam ko feel mo di ko un naaappreciate, but honestly, I do. I am happy that we regained the friendship that we had before. You are special to me, and even though you once failed me, it won’t erase the fact that you’ve played a big part of my happiness too. Thank you, Mr. Froggie/Mr. Stressed/Mr. Pogi/Mr. Yeo. Mahal kita, alam mo yan. :) 

AND FINALLY!

THANK YOU TO MY LORD AND SAVIOR. God, thank you for everything! I wouldn’t be who I am today if it wasn’t because of you. Thank you for giving me all of these friends. Thank you for giving me a good family. Thank you for making me strong. Thank you for all the blessings. And thank you for giving me trials, hardships, and pain. If not because of all these, I wouldn’t be as strong as I am today. THANK YOU LORD.

And more importantly, thank you for sending your son here on earth to save us once and for all, even though we don’t deserve it. Thank you for the unconditional love that I know I can never repay. God, I love you. And please, help me prove it to you every single day. Thank you, Jesus. :)

OKAY, To my readers, I think that’s not all, there’s more to thank, but I can’t name all of them. Alam neo na kung sino kayo. Thanks you for everything! I wish you all the best in life. God bless! 

I wish you all a Merry Merry Christmas! 

@MissMarjj 

NO REGRETS, JUST LESSONED LEARNED

                Alright! I’m going to start with my year-end blog na! WEEEHH! Okay. So, What have I done this entire year? Hmmmmm. Ang dami na talaga e. I don’t remember them in details na e. But I want to have a review of all the good and bad that had happen to me this year. OHHH.. This’ll be a long one.

                AY! Before anything else, I would like to extend my holiday greetings to each and every one! Merry Christmas && A happy new year! J May God bless us all!

Okay, this year has been so crazy. I felt so blessed this year. I am happy that all of these things happened. I don’t regret anything na. Kase before I thought of something that I did that I really felt that I have to regret. But then, I realized that when I was doing the act, what I did was just to follow my heart. And I was happy back then. So for me, I will never regret anything that once made me happy. So yeah. NO REGRETS, JUST LESSONED LEARNED. Just to highlight that events I had this year.

1.    1. I learned to play BLITZ! Now, What is blitz? Blitz is, http://www.dutchblitz.com/.

 So there, actually I wasn’t the only one who learned to play blitz. I think all of us in church learned to play blitz. Because of the YWAM, they brought blitz with them and while we were in church they taught us to play. And it is really fun to play. In fact I ordered one but unfortunately, wala parin sya until now. Here’s a picture of us playing blitz and the YWAM team! 

Here's a picture of the YWAM team. (Youth With A Mission)

It's us, playing blitz!

 2. We came up with a mini dance group! The first time we danced was on our P.E night. I met a friend her name is Jam, we became pretty close also with Andrei and the rest. The second time we danced was on our acquaintance party. And then we joined a dance competition during the BLACKOUT party, and we won. YEY! Then we had a repeat performance during the.. I forgot what was that, basta centennial year event un. OKAY. Will also post some photos. 

Acquaintance party!

Repeat performance
Centennial Celebration

1.     3.  Then I met Mawi. J Hihi. We became pretty close. I call her BETCH. Well 3 yun kame Mawi, Jam, and I. One of the new friends I met this year. But we manage to stay close despite of our opposite schedules and all. Tapos we love to hang out talaga sa Island bubble tea, pero closed na un.

To mawi: I AM HAPPY THAT I MET YOU. :D Really, I am! *DRAMA :)))

I also met LAIKA! Who is laika to me? Hmmm.. I met laika at school. She’s a year older than me, I met her in the time of my distress. WOW! DISTRESS! She comforted me nung time na yon. And she also became a really good friend of mine. We share a lot of chikkas talaga! As in, if we seat in one place for the entire day, I don’t think that we will ever get bored. HAHA! Feel ko lang. Madaldal talaga ako! Ay KAME pala. Hahaha. And even though she’s older than me and we have different schedules, she still finds time to keep in touch and be updated with each other’s lives, this is what I love about her the most! As in, kahit lunch together, or merienda together, we can manage to talk about tons of things na talaga! She is so fun to be with talaga. She has a lovely soul and a beautiful heart! I love her din tlga! <3 ayeee.="ayeee." nbsp="nbsp" span="span">

Wala kameng picture together. Cant find one. @@
To Laika: Ang saya lng makahanap ng friend like you. Chos! I am blessed to have come to know you.

                I met a new chikka buddy/girlfriend, her name is diane! As first, I thought we would click, because maybe she would not like me, but then it turned out that we were like A-OKAY together! As in, I wasn’t expecting it to be like that. And out “Laag” was really fun. And I just laughed a lot that time. I like her. I really do. I hope I get to know her more next year. Would not pro’lly meet until the next year, she’s out of town e. Okay. So yon, It’s really fun around her. We still don’t have any picture together. But soon, magkakaroon din kame! :DDDD 

No picture together YET -
To Diane: Thanks for being a friend when I need one! Love you!

4. The CYF welcome night. Presenting the “Youth-outside-the-box” OOOH YEAH! It was finally the time to launch our new youth title. It was crucial on picking what title would fit our youth. Since last year we had a Youth undivided. So yeah, we figured, with God’s help that it’s about time for us to go and reach out to those people who doesn’t know Christ yet. So there, we chose youth-outside-the-box! And that night there were no game, we only had this role play. Wherein, the officers will have to play a role, they/we will have to act as people who don’t know Christ and people who think they don’t need God. There were to scenarios, one is in an office, or company, people there were rich, and they think that they don’t need god anymore. The other one is in a squatters area, where in the people there are suffering and they think that there is no God. And they think that if there is a God, that God has forsaken them. So the young people who came to the welcome night were asked to share to these unbelievers whatever they know about God. And their main goal is to win souls for God. So it was like a drill. And note that these CYFers who came wasn’t informed that they will have to share the word. So there, it was a success. We had praise and worship, and sang praises to God. I saw new faces, and I am glad that these new faces stayed with us and became a part of the family as time goes. Soyeah, everything went well with God’s grace. And everything was a success. Thank you, Lord. 

Welcome night! CYFers

This was the drill on sharing the word.
Role play. :))

1.    5.   And by the end of the first semester, we had this interclass swimming competition. Since swimming was our P.E. So yeahhh. It was soooo fun. An amateur swimming competition. Our class won overall. YEAHOO! And I also won as the most outstanding swimmer. CHAR. So first time ko magkamedal sa sports. HAHAHA! Masaya. The experience that great! And it stirred up my interest for swimming even more. Kase, since I was a child it was the only sport I know. Kaya ayon. And I am lampa at all sports na. HAHA. K. Fun experience.

1.  6.   The IORG was established here in Zamboanga. Mom Rose appointed me as the WA(Worthy Advisor), in other words. President. Ayon. It is fun being a Rainbow girl.  I met new friends and ayon, hinahasa ako maging leader. Sana lang talaga, by the end of my term, maayos ang lahat. Will post some photos of the installation.

 7. My birthday! YEAHOOO! Im finally 18! Lady na daw. Okay. So my birthday wasn’t engrande. I didn’t have a party or anything. I want it to be simple. I was shocked nga na I wanted it that way. I’m the typical maarte girl kase. Pero nung my birthday was fast approaching, and my dad asked me what I wanted to do, I just said na, don’t want a party, money and or travel nalang. So ayon, but still I was torn between party and the money and travel. Pero thing about parties is that, nakakatamad magprepare. As in. I don’t want anything na makakadagdag stress pa. And then, magastos pa. ME NO LIKEY NA. So yon, wala nang party. Plus, I didn’t feel happy few days before my birthday, parang down tlaga ako. For some reasons. And then my birthday came. Then my dad said that, we will have dinner at his place after my class daw. So sabi ko, OKAY. I’d love that naman. Sad thing is that my mom wasn’t with us. Separated na sila e. L Ayon, so when I arrived, they had balloons all over tapos my friends si papa there and then sila Ako-neng and her family was there din. Tapos, impromptu, I invted Wilbur. J Sayang nga di ko nainvite sila Pastor e. Pero yon,binigyan ako nila papa ng bouquet of roses. As in 18 roses talaga. Wow naman. Na surprise tlga ako. Ayon, my day ended happily naman. As in, right then and then, I knew that I was blessed!  I love you, God. 

Halata bang ndi ako prepared. Di ako nkapagayos oh! @@

1. 8.  The Ateneo Fiesta! The DeMolay and Rainbow had a booth during the aftest. We planned it to raise funds for the AdZU DeRa. It was pretty much a success for a newbie. J HAHA, We didn’t really had a background on these things. We sold BBQs, floats, finger foods, and shawarma! And the entire atfest, was sooooooo tiring. PROMISE! But even though pagod talaga, it was worth it! We became closer as bros and sisters, as in, the bond became stronger. And that’s just nice. WORTH IT! :D

Atfest buddies! A bond as strong and thick as blood!

My favorite customer. =)) 

1.    9.   AAO swimming competition. Yey! Okay, I just swam sa relay. So, two events yon. We got GOLDS! Tapos, ayon. Masaya, all the tiring trainings paid off. And this was my 2^nd swimming competition. Great experience. Kahit taplak ako magdive. =))

  

  10. Rainbow Christmas Carol! FUN! FUN FUN! Okay, it wasn’t really the usual caroling that we go house to house. What we did was the distributed letters, and surprisingly the dads didn’t want us to go to their houses, instead they gave us money nalang. Many of them did the same. So in just one night we became rich na. HAHA! Just kidding. Then the dad’s invited us to go to their party and have our caroling there. And again, in just one night we became very rich! Haha!

  

Okay, 10 significant events this year. If you guys noticed, I didn’t include the bad things. Well, I blogged about sad things that happened to me naman this year, you can read it there instead. I don’t want to ruin the happy aura that this blog have naman. J) Okayyy.

I would like to post close this jam-packed year-end blog by saying that life is a constant change. What we have today might not be the same tomorrow. And the only thing that is permanent in this world is CHANGE. People come and go, friends come and go but true friends stay. You can’t always be happy; sometimes you have to experience pain. And that pain will help you become a better person in the future. I’m just happy that I came to realize all this. It’s sad when people you love and care about leave you. But the important thing there is you learn to accept. And then slowly, you move on. Over all, this year has been wonderful year for me. I hope next year will be better! :D

And finally having said all this, this year was truly a blessing and a lessoned learned for me! As in, I can’t thank God enough for all the things that he has done for me my entire life. And as we celebrate Christmas this year, let us all remember what Christ did for all of us. Forget about the gifts, foods, gatherings, etc. Remember a baby was born in a manger to save us. May God bless you guys! :) 

Happy holidays everybody!

Be safe!

Ciao! 

@MissMarjj

  

Betrayal

Oh hi. I’ll have to make bulalas my sama ng loob here.

 It’s been a roller coaster ride this year.

So, before I post my year-end blog. I just want to blog about what is going on with me lately. I am a mess. I am hurt. BIGTIME! Yung feeling na tinraydor ka ng lahat ng pinagkakatiwalaan mo. Ugh, What did I do to deserve this. @@ Okay.. Lemme begin with how I figured things out. It was a Tuesday afternoon. I was having dysmenorrhea so I went to the clinic and ask for medicine. Then the nurse said that I’ll have to eat first before I drink the med. So I did. When I was at the caf, I saw a friend. I was shocked, because I haven’t seen her for YEARS. So we had a little chat blab la blab la bla. Until she said something that totally broke my heart.

Everybody knows that I love HIM so much. I mean, everyone knows we were an item back then. They knew that Wilbur and I are pretty much friends after the break up. If you have read my previous blogs at http://itsus-themarjorie.blogspot.com/ you’ll know. So yeah, our relationship is.. I just cant explain it. It’s something that’s there forever. It is something that would really last. US, Friends. We were important to each other And I.. I trusted him so so so much! And I did. I trusted him because of all the things that we’ve been through, because I love him still.

And I have this girl friend, I met her in school. She’s nice. And FUN to be with. In fact, we became super close, like sisters. We do things together. I share tons of things with her too. I tell stuffs to her about my, family, my emotions, and of course my love for my EX, who is still my friend now. And Im pretty much contented and happy that I have her even though I don’t have a “LOVELIFE” I wasn’t bored. She really was fun to be with. And this girl that I really love, became really close to my heart. And I just… trusted her also. I did.  Truly did. God knows I did.

                (This is going to be a long blog. Brace yourselves my imaginary readers)

                So this girl friend of mine and my ex met each other. Also I introduced her to a couple of my friends in high school too. So yeah, we became pretty close. We hang out every now and then. AS IN! SUPER. I just had so much fun. But then, things got complicated with in the barkada. Something happened. I had my mistake too. But I tried to patch things up. But everything’s changed. Everyone became awkward with me. And I suddenly didn’t understand what was going on. And that girl friend of mine suddenly changed her treatment towards me. And I started to dislike her. I slowly figured her attitude, and I sort of did not like it. And our attitudes clash. And, I admit, I started to hate her already. But then, I denied the hate and said to myself that maybe I was just over reacting and maybe it was my mistake. But then she slowly boxed me out of the group. I don’t know if she was the only one who was doing that, or all of them suddenly had a problem with me. So yeah, we were four in the group. But then suddenly, she doesn’t text me anymore, or asks me where I was. And they were all together and I was.. Ugh. Alone. I noticed that somehow they were trying to keep something from me.  So I kept my distance I didn’t push myself to them. I kept myself busy and did the things that I needed to do. I met new friends too. God helped me every step of the way. I started to accept that things would never be the same again, that I would never be friends with her again, and I just have to deal with this. I just have to be civilized. Though I was hurt badly, I kept myself intact. I kept myself contained. And God knows how much I was hurt badly. More than everything I felt abandoned.

                But! I started to make friends with others too. I had my rainbow girls, and our demolay brothers. We hang out too. Especially during the Ateneo fiesta, we had our booth, and we worked as a team which drew us even more closer as brothers and sisters. So yeah, it pretty much covered the pain. And I eventually let it go. Me, her, our friendship, everything I just let it go. And I was contented with what I have at the moment. My rainbow girls, my new found brothers, and Wilbur. Of course my family was also in, also Wilbur’s family. I love them! AND! Above all, I had God. So yeah, that was pretty much it. I GUESS….           

                BUT THEN, That faithful Tuesday afternoon, someone told me something that I never expect would happen. Something that was impossible to happen. It was impossible FOR ME. Because I TRUSTED  them, because I was to stupid. They failed me.

“Oh my ---, Marj, Im sory, I thought you knew”

“huh?”

“Guys, she doesn’t know.”

                And I was like, WHAT?!?! So lahat ng mga suspetcha ko totoo? LAHAT NG EVIDENCE was pointing to that! Yung suddenly magkasama na sila. Ung masyado silang close, ung… moments na napapansin ko na, pero dineny ko kase, sabi ko, masyado lang ako nagseselos or paranoid lang ako. And aside from break na naman kame, I trusted THEM. I said to myself pa nga, “Marjj, kalma, impossibleng mangyari yang iniisip mo, kase ndi yan nila magagawa sayo, bestfriend mo yan, alam nea lahat ng pinagdaanan ninyo ni wilbur, alam neang mahal mo pa si Wilbur, at higit sa lahat, mahal ka nean. Di nya magagawa yan sayo. At si Wilbur din, mapagkakatiwalaan mo yan. Mahal ka nean, at ayaw na ayaw ka nean saktan. Besides, my prinsipyo yang taong yan, at di nya rin type ang bestfriend mo! Wag kang OA, napakababa naman ng tingin mo sakanila kung magiisip ka ng ganyan. Umayos ka! Im-po-ssi-ble! Okay?” Kaya I ignored all the signs, and I let it pass me. Ung mga nagsasama sila ung nakahiga na sya sa lap ni Wilbur, ung nag hug sila sa harap ko. WEW! All I thought was wala lang yon. Damn, everytime naaalala ko, it kills me inside. Damn! @@ Ang sakit. I ignored everything because I trusted them. I was stupid! And it hurt so much! The moment I knew it, my heart was shattered into pieces again. AS IN! MMMMMASAKIT! It was like, tama ka pala Marjj. All along your suspicions was right. But you ignored them, all because you trusted them! HAYYYY! Bien dwele! @@  

                And now, it’s so hard to forget. It’s like ang sakit e. I comes so sudden kase, when I’m doing nothing, bigla king maaalala. Tapos mapapaiyak ang ako. Grabe, I just didn’t expect this from them. Knowing na alam na din pala nag buong barkada but no one had the guts to tell it to me. Bien dwele. -_____- L Then Wilbur and I had a conversation, we talked and he apologized. Sincerely apologized. And tears were all over the place, I can’t help but cry tlaga e. Ang sakit lang. OA na kung OA, perooooo.. Ang sakit lang e. Okayy. I know it’s easier to forgive than to forget. And it’s going to take a long long time for me to be able to remember it and yet not get hurt. It’s going to take a long time for me to be able to move on from this. And it’s going to take a long time to rebuild that trust that I had for Wilbur. The pain will eventually go away. The cut will eventually turn into a scar, symbolizing the pain that was once there.

                It will be a long process of healing. 

                I will be okay, just not today. I will be okay, sooner. 

                I pray to God that He will give me the strength to forgive and move on. I know that he has plans for me. And these plans are for my betterment. So I will not question Him. I will surrender everything to him. He knows that more than anybody else does. 

@MissMarjj