hayy.. kelangan ko lng isulat ang blog na to para mailabas ko ang sama ng loob ko..:)
okaay.. I think im fine. I act okay.. im OKAY. yan lage kong sinasbi. peroo.. bkit nabbother ako? bkit? hayy.. yesterday.. macrch 29 2010.
phone call ..
we talked about the problem. and soo..
He said " gusto man kita, pero MAS gusto ko siya "
I said "OK"
and yeaa. I said. BYE.
hayy. after that. I said to myself i`ll be fine. sure i`ll be fine. im a strong girl. I`ll be okay.
yeah. and then he ask me if I still wanted to see him. and I said no.. " ayawwww " that the exact word i said..
It really hurt.I mean REALLY.
choosing someone over you is really a bad thing.
And to think that that girl is not even around. she`s somewhere in LUZON. We are in Mindanao. wow! he must be really in love with that girl. sooo, i didn`t say a thing. I just let go.. its really hard when there`s this "othergirl" . at first I thought that he doesnt have feelings for her anymore. because we are really happy together. All i thought is we're okay already. but that's just what i thought... :|
He still text her, not everyday, but every now and then. FACEBOOK. wall-to-wall. And to think that I CAN READ IT. makes me feel that he is insensitive. YEA. but thats fine. what can I do. its all done. its OVER. :) even though ndi kame. (alam neo ung feeling na kahit di kyo nasasktan ka). and soooo.. I didnt ask him already. I didnt ask why. i just said OK. what's the hardest thing about this is to think na. IKAW ung andito .. IKAW ung nakakasama nea. IKAW ung anjan para sknya. IKAW UN. IKAW. PERO, pinili nea pa ung wala. mas pinili nea pa ung WALA DITO. UNG NASA MALAYO. un ung pinakasamakit e. :( super sakit. as in super sakit.. nalulungkot ako pag naiisip ko un.. super. umasa ako kse akala ko ok na kame.. wala nang problema sa family namen.. suportado kame ng lahat. except my FRIEND. (she said masasaktan lng daw ako kay _____ ). and guess what .. tama sya. that's why when I told her about what happened, she just said "see? good. SABI KO NA SAYO, di ka nakikinig" woa! kaya lang naman ako ndi nakinig kase mas nakinig ako sa sinasabi ng utak ko.. na to give it a try.. PERO, wala e. di tlga.. pero di ko nmn un pinagsisihan sabi nga nila. NO REGRETS, JUST LOVE.
hay. kala ko lang pala ang lhat.IT REALLY IS PAINFUL.
akala ko.. akala ko lng pala..sana, di nalang ako nafall.. e in the first place, di ko nmn binalak to e. ndi tlga.. peroo..hayy.. His parents were the best! they're just the best. ang bait super. :) as in.. that's really one of the reasons why I liked him. :) his family.. his siblings. ooh i just love them. i really do. :) his mom, is really great! a great cook too! ang galing. super sarap magluto, and his dad, ang bait.. and cutee..... kaya its kinda hard for me to let go.. kase kht sandali lang kame nagkasama nakakamiss paren.. lalo na ung little brother nea. :(nobyo ko un.. HAHA! noby ko DAW! i`ll really miss them.
hay.. this thing.. this thing that's happening.. really bothers me. as in. grabe.. :) but i know i`ll be okay, maybe not today.. maybe not tomorrow. but soon. :) I just have to PRAY.
they say para daw di ako mahurt. I just have to keep myself busy, dapat di ko na isipin para di na ako masaktan.. sabi din ng friends ko.. dpt daw be strong... they really do their best to comfort me. sabi nila magsisisi daw sya, they say his miserable na daw. BUT I said no, sana maging masaya sya. sana masaya sya sa decision nya. :) lets just take away the bitterness. lets all be happy db?
i know kaya ko to.. :D I just need God's guidance. :) He Is my refuge. I always come running back to Him when everything falls apart. He is my strong foundation.. I`ll be nothing with out
Him. probably im crying out loud now if He is not with me. Yes, there are many reasons to cry now, but there are thousands of reasons to smile and laugh. :) Amen? :)
